The anxiety in performing was crippling…
I’m sure you’ve had those moments where you have to get up in front of a group of people. All eyes on you. The breathing gets heavier, the heart beats fast, the throat feels like its going to close up. I hear you. You may not know this but I used to be filled with so much self doubt as a singer. I used to hide in the bathrooms long before I would perform because I was so nervous. Then afterwards I’d beat myself up at any cue I missed, note out of line or interaction I had, ruminating for unholy lengths of time on all the possible ways to either go back in time or make sure it never happened again.
It’s nice to know you’re not alone hey? The thing is singing goes beyond the voice. It is the very core of who we are and when we are faced with an audience keen to witness an have an experience the pressure can be a lot. The voice is your emotional centre and sometimes, I’m sure if you’re like me, you can feel completely exposed. The things for me was I had a loop going on repeat in my head. I wanted to please my audience, the other musicians I sang with, and most of all I wanted that feeling of the performance being perfect. But, let’s be honest: singing ISN”T about performance. Well, not in my opinion anyway.
You see, noo one else has your voice: literally. It is unique as a finger print - or a zebra’s stripe! No-one has your structure, your sound or your story - and those three componenets make up what you produce and put out into the world. For me, once I could see that in fact singing the way my unique voice could - it broke through an internal barrier.
For years (and years and years) I sang most weekends of a year on many different platforms and, to say I burnt out was an understatement. I was doing it for the accolades, no longer for the joy. And, I realised that even though I absolutely adore performing I needed to really love on my voice from a place of presence. The fear subsided and I found myself grounded in a new relationship with my voice. I learned quickly to put what others would say, think or do behind me. I stepped forward and rose like a phoenix. This time listening and leaning into what my body was communicating with me.
Singing is no longer about performance - yes, it is fantastic when you go to a gig and you get lost in the moment but, singing for me is about play and allowing that inner child or silliness surface enough that the voice then has a chance at beaing heard. Like truly. The voice is the pathway to get what is inside out and this very channel is the way forward to build confidence and trust with your voice.
I learned courage. I learned how to speak for myself. I raised my voice. I learned to raise others. I learned to listen. I found my own true voice. And this is what I speak into the hundreds of kids I get to champion. I no longer shy away from the stage, the limelight or the moment. I jump in whole heartedly. Always choosing to step forward. And I encourage them to gradually get more and more comfy in that uncomfortable vulnerability - through play, tears and laughter. It’s a whole package. Because singing is not just about the voice. It’s you. It’s your identity. It’s what you believe. It’s what you stand for. It’s who you are.
It’s why I love teaching how to release the voice from a holistic vantage - because you are a whole package. Your voice is one component of who you are but is also the very essence of who you are! And your confidence gets the side benefit once you begin to stack up the evidence you’re truly capable of great things!
Wanna join me on a journey of playful curiosity, to strengthen song, soul & sound? DO IT! You won’t regret it! I promise ✨
